So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
