normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
