I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I looked at my own cervix.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
