Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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