maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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