Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
