I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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