This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
