one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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