Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she looked like the before picture.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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