I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
