you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have so many feelings about this burrito
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
