i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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