this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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