You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
