i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
