shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize