Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
