we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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