maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
