i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
literally had 100 drinks last night.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
