you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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