Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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