Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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