brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
