Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
