Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
