You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
