Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
