Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Couch. On fire.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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