We won't sleep together?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
