All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
