Umm I'm too high to move.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
