why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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