sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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