do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
