i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
