I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
