There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
