And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
