peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
