Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So apparently I’m into choking now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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