ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
