Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
