I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
