Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
