Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
