Buhtt sex?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
