I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
