Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
