He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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