Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
