dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
