every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
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