Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize