# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm passing your future prison.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
