Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize