I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize