my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
