Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
