non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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