I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
